Tell the readers a little about yourself…
I’m always at a loss for how to answer this in a way I haven’t shared a thousand times before. This is just some thing I naturally fell into, I I was always that flirtatious, pushy, seductive girl, drawn to curious dark things, passionate about leather clothing and aggressive villain types in movies and TV.
At some point it just honestly all came together to form what you see with me today. The lifestyle itself was my first expression of sexuality, though I did wait until my 18th before applying for a job to a local dungeon – now 36, that has me in the scene for an 18 solid years.
What got you into the lifestyle
It was destiny. I was *always* playing “mean mommie” when I was younger, spanking friends, tying up the boys and in all other ways, enjoying small forms of power play. It remained consistent as I grew older, in short goth dresses and carrying handcuffs in my backpack in 10th grade, it was just what made me happy. Actually becoming a dominatrix was suggested to me by someone in high school – it’s taboo so I can’t name who – but it prompted me to look into it seriously.
What is one thing about you that no one knows about
I have no idea. I’m a very open book at this point.
What do you enjoy most about being a female dominatrix
The ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want to. I can wake up and dress in a way that will make a client weak in the knees, fulfill my (and their) ultimate fantasies and make a life long impression on someone just by virtue of being me. I basically get paid to be erotically gratified 24/7 and my visitors love me for it….and I get to do this every single day.
Is there one fetish you like more than another or are they all about equal
I tend to cycle through personal kinks a lot – one month I’ll be obsessed with electro and the next month, I can’t get enough latex. It’s not usually a hot or cold thing because kink itself will ALWAYS appeal no matter what facet it is, but at the moment, I am super heavy into sensory play and mind control.
What is something you see or hear about from slaves or other dommes that you don’t agree with
This doesn’t happen too often, but sometimes just the things clients have endured at the hands of other professionals in the past that they thought was ok. Primarily boundary pushing beyond safe words, playing above their skill level, not being safe/sanitary, leaving clients in bondage unattended etc. This mostly happens with new Dommes and new clients, but aside from that, I’m not coming up with anything specific that I openly disagree with. *Most* people who make it to the point of being a known Pro Dom/me have their shit together so they aren’t doing a lot of unsavory things.
How do you treat your slaves compared to other dommes
I don’t know – I don’t care to look at how other Dommes interact with their personal slaves. That said, I only associate with the most incredible and genuine Tops, so I imagine our personal relationships don’t look too much different.
What makes a great domme
Real skill, a great attitude, genuine enthusiasm, the ability to be trusted with secrets, a high level of sanitation, open mindedness, a way with words, an above average understanding of basic psychology and human sexuality, patience, a strong stomach, an unbreakable work ethic, the ability to improvise, a driven attitude, creativity in scene, comfortability with themselves and others, the ability to put strangers at ease with their darkest secrets at the drop of a hat, a good sense of humor, the ability to value every visitor as if they were their only, the ability to maintain personal and professional boundaries, solid intuition, the ability to read nonverbal partners and about a million other things….but I’ll stop here. It never hurts to look good in latex too, but that’s not required.
What would you say is the number one factor in a successful d/s relationship
Honesty. It’s my one non negotiable in any relationship. The moment people forget to be straight forward, start covering their feelings, not sharing what’s really on their mind – there’s a problem. In a bdsm relationship especially, trust is essential. Not only just in building a strong foundation and connection but off the bat, you’re allowing yourself to explore very deep and vulnerable parts of yourself in play; often times entrusting your life and limb to the person. You have to know both partners can be 100% real and genuine with each other in all aspects in and out of the dungeon.
What would your advice be to a new and upcoming female domme
There is so much I would say here, but most of all – do your research. Owning a whip doesn’t mean you know how to use it. Take time to build your skill, be honest about your specialties, learn your risks, vet your clients, learn how to be safe, learn medical grade sanitation – don’t rush the process. You’re going to have to put in a LOT of work before you see real tangible results, the process alone weeds out a lot of people but if you love what you do – just be patient and success will happen over time.
What was your first job
My very first job was actually cleaning a mega church; this lasted a month. It was the only place that would hire me at the time because I was 16. I was working primarily with people serving community service so honestly – the conversations and life experiences they shared was the only reason I came back after the first week.
What is your view on financial domination
This is a can of worms for sure, but I think it has a place; just not in the way most people know it today. I financially dominate my collared personal slaves but that doesn’t involve ‘rinsing or draining’ their wallets. It means I ensure they invest wisely, pay bill on time, they don’t spend frivolously. They do financially tribute to me, but it’s a fixed number and one that we mutually decided after I sorted out what their monthly needs were. Findom today is a bit like an addiction. If kept in check, it’s a wonderful fetish two people can explore – but when I see people go into debt over it, shirk real life responsibilities over it or in other ways self destruct because of it, I’m really turned off. To each their own, but modern findom isn’t for me. It should be about tributing a Mistress with your abundance after you’ve taken care of your needs. Not ruining yourself and going into debt – self destruction serves no one and honestly gives the community a bad reputation. Unless self destruction itself is your fetish.
What are three of the best gifts you’ve received from your slaves
Hard work: When someone takes over a task that’s either difficult, time consuming or otherwise expensive to hire out for and does it correctly, speedily and with extreme care, this is the highest form of service. It’s often not fun – like say yard work or laying flooring – but the direct help and benefit to me is immense. It’s genuine selfless worship and resource to a Domme.
Donations to my favorite causes: It is VERY tempting to hand a Domme a material gift but when someone donates to an animal shelter for me – I value that in far greater measure. No I don’t get to use that gift personally, but knowing somewhere a sweet animal has an easier life, a better chance at rescue or a reliable meal means more than a physical item.
Gifts from the heart: I know you’re expecting me to name designer purses or lavish jewelry, but when someone chooses something they know I’d love, no matter what it is, it’s automatically the best. They thought it out, they searched, they used what they know about me and gifted what they truly believed I’d need or want most. Nothing is better than that.
What is your dream job
This one. I’ve been working in BDSM for 18 years on and off (I’m 36) and since day one, whether I worked in someone else’s dungeon or my own, I have never had a time where I was able to slack off. I’ve pushed hard to save, build my studio, my reputation and my name just so I could make this passion my long term career. While I have worked in other professions on the side from time to time in the earlier years, there is nothing on the planet that would satisfy me more then this.Okay…unless I ran my own animal rescue.
What are your goals in this lifestyle and in life
I feel like I should have some sort of lofty response here but I honestly don’t. I just want to enjoy the career I love, save money, retire well and have a slew of incredible memories and collared slaves to live out my days.
What is your ideal slave and what qualities do you look for in a potential slave
Overall I look for honest, kind, straightforward, intelligent and hardworking people. They must not be materialistic, vain or consumed by modern culture. They must not be the jealous type, easily able to be happy for others, love animals, have personal passions outside of me, be easily joyful in the little things. They don’t let the negative things in the world rob them of their sense of joy, they are good at keeping perspective. They are able to be self sufficient, totally trustworthy and open minded over all. They are not prone to argue, remembering we are a team – and able to express themselves calmly and concisely when needed. They are an open book when I need to talk, they remain emotionally open, they take care of themselves and remember that bringing the best version of themselves to the table is the best way of serving me. They don’t inflate their abilities, they are content in themselves, they strive to be good humans instead of overly rich/famous/attractive whatever – they value the real things that matter instead of the superficial. And they’ll let me fist them.
Lastly what is your opinion on all these new instadommes, catfish dommes as well as fake Dommes and what do you think should be done about them to bring the real femdom / bdsm lifestyle back? (When slaves paid to serve and obeyed and weren’t entitled or did chargebacks and refunds)
Real bdsm has always been here, if someone is easily scammed by an instadomme or catfish – they didn’t do their research. It’s harsh, but often that simple. Google the photos you see to find if they belong to someone else, run their professional name to find their real website. Look for where else aside from Twitter or Instagram that they’ve been – see how long they’ve been around to make a digital foot print. It’s not difficult at all to look into the history of a Top – so if someone gets scammed, I honestly have to wonder how it happened so easily.
As with scammer clients – that just happens, you can’t change that. Both sides of the fence will always have a a few people with a ‘take as much as you can while giving as little as possible’ mentality but overall I don’t really consider that to be a part of the ‘real’ bdsm scene. Take away Tw*tter and most of those catfish really go away in an instant.
I would like to Thank Goddess Victoria for taking the time out of Her busy life to let me interview Her. I hope you check this lovely lady out and show Her some love…