How did you get started in this lifestyle and what made you want to be a Domme?
I’ve been into the general BDSM lifestyle for 15 years now. I started as a sub with my ex boyfriend. He was a doctor and, for some reason, everything he couldn’t do to his patients, he did to me. I explored impact, medical and edge play with him a lot. When we broke up, I made the decision to explore the other side of the BDSM spectrum. Then I separated my Dom partners from the sub ones. My kinky life was paused for several years, as my ex husband wasn’t into it at all.
When we divorced, I was back into kinks and then, I just figured out that I was enjoying incredibly more of my Domme side. It was 5 years ago I believe. Since that time, my friends of the community convinced me to give my Pro-Domme activity a chance. and, here we goooooo… In my situation, I think my inner character as a Domme was just waiting for the right moment to stand out. I faced a lot of struggles in my personal life. I lost my beloved grand mother. I got divorced with my ex husband because he became bipolar. Before getting hurt or slapped (domestic violence), I just decided to live the life I wanted. This is where my real dominance comes from I think. When your partner suddenly becomes a sort of emotional monster, it’s hard to survive in your mental space.
What is it like being a Domme in paris?
I would say that French subs like to complain a lot. They have a sort of kink for striking and expressing themselves when they’re unhappy. Most of my subs are very obedient, respectful and playful for sure. I’m independent and a very strong personality and i’m very frank, so be straight forward with me. I can be very, very mean.
What do you like best about being a domme and would you ever sub again? Which do you like doing more being a domme or being a sub?
The only person I submit to is my partner, who’s also a rigger. We’re both Shibari riggers and it’s so lovely and intense to play together.
Do you find it hard sometimes to switch between domme and sub roles in your life?
Let’s say that I’m 98% Domme and 2% sub. I would even say I’m more a bottom than a sub. You know I’m an Aries, a fire sign. So, the Domme side suits me much better 🙂 Also, I have this sort of gentle and nice side as a Mommy Domme/GFE. I’m a caring person and I don’t want to yell at my subs for them to obey. But if I’m just upset, you can make sure that I’m gonna be digging in your mind to get what I want.
Do you believe all men should serve women that women rule this world? That all men should be locked in chastity?
I tend to think that the world in general should listen to our voices and chastity has to be controlled for sure. Men are used to touching themselves like 2-3 times a day, at least. Their minds are just disturbed with their thing, like babies. Oh please, men, it’s time to grow up a bit! For men, chastity is like giving their lives. It’s so hilarious. Dommes are like spiritual guides. They have to be though sometimes.
How do you punish your subs?
Punishing my subs sounds like a failure for me. It means that something in my training didn’t work. It makes me sad sometimes when I really have to punish and humiliate my subs when I don’t expect it. I mostly blame them for their actions. I make them feel so little like babies. I put them in the corner of the room for example, to let them think. No play time, not allowed to speak, not allowed to move, just restrained and let their mind process. I do make the difference between punishment and funishment. I ignore them. At this time of the punishment, I even wonder if they still deserve their place at my feet. It’s a bit of a struggle even for the caring Domme that I am. They have to work to go back on track. Basic exercises like greetings, showing me some respect, shutting their mouths until they’re allowed to speak.
What do you look for in a potential slave?
It’s more a subconscient process that I can feel. I look for obedience, the motivation to be trained, the possibility to format their minds, to reset all those bad habits. I want to feel the potential of devotion, their availability to give the best of them to a Domme. Because we know what’s good for them. We read our slaves’ minds so easily. We know exactly their weaknesses and their strengths. It’s like a therapy. People tend to think that we’re criminals.
How do you like potential slaves to approach you and what should they do to get your attention?
I have a form to fill out on my website: sashatengu.com
it’s not difficult to read my instructions! I have social media like Twitter and/or Instagram also. I don’t spend money and time on a website just for fun. Be precise, accurate and polite to get my attention. I wrote a blog article about how to address a Domme on my website: https://www.sashatengu.com/addressingadomme/
What kind of gifts do you like getting from slaves and what are your top 3 youve received?
my slave traveled from Thailand to France to bring back my cats. He handled everything: paper work, flight tickets, and food for them. Just for us to be reunited again. Only a devoted slave can do that. It was just 2 days before the global lockdown in March 2020!!!! He brought me back my furry babies. He knew I needed them by my side.
But mostly, subs tend to treat me well with lingerie sets, latex outfits, toys or shoes. Latex, lingerie and high heels also OMG… I feel like a Queen dressed up with latex and high heels. I also like the sensation of the leather on my skin.
Do you prefer inperson or online sessions with slaves and has the pandemic affect how you do sessions or change how you do them in any way?
a sub wants to travel in NYC this year, let’s see if he can become the official #2 slave. I prefer IRL sessions undoubtedly. During the lockdown, I was at my parents’s place. So it was technically difficult to provide online sessions. I took care of myself and offered some yoga classes for free to keep everyone motivated. I can offer online sessions but it’s not my preference. I can tell you though, when the lockdown had ended, I received a lot of requests.
Whats your take on timewasters ? What should be done about them in your opinion?
They should be simply ignored in my opinion. They take a lot of my energy and it’s very overwhelming. They don’t deserve to share even a second of my universe.
What are some of your favorite fetishes and why?
My favorite fetishes: I would say bondage and especially Shibari because I love the proximity of body and mind. My other favorite practices are mindfucking, CBT, ballbusting, chastity, trampling, impact for sure, and you can get a glimpse of my other practices on my website. Something that makes me particularly horny is observing the desperation of a sub in his eyes. Like “huhhh I’m suffering”
Do you like pegging or sissification? What do you like about those?
I love pegging because it’s very intimate. Like making love in a different way. Fisting is also a practice I love.
Being my sissy is an honor, because of the cathartic effect of this practice. I like those practices because it’s like a dance I’m leading. I handle the rhythm of our bodies and minds. Starting slowly like a waltz and then, getting harder like rock n’ roll.
Is there anything in this lifestyle that you don’t believe in or like to see or hear about? Something that makes you irk or that you won’t do?
I don’t know what to think with these new kinksters who learned about BDSM with 50 shades of grey. Some people proclaim themselves Masters or Mistresses without any knowledge or philosophy of our universe. “I’ve been watching some videos on Youtube and now i’m a great Master.”
What would be your advice to a new and upcoming domme?
First of all, like every kind of business, if you want to last, you need to know your inner personality, whether you’re a sub or a Dom. Improvisation is just harmful and dangerous for everyone. Like I said, failure is also a part of the process. We have so many kinksters, so many styles in this world: no one is legit enough to write an ultimate Bible of BDSM. Every newbie should always find someone to talk to, in order to share their knowledge. Munches are mandatory for me. Even as a Pro, I like meeting new people during the Munches. It’s crucial to socialize and take care of our community.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Do you still wanna be a domme then?
I think I picture myself in 5 years mentoring new Doms/subs. I have projects in marketing to help my fellow SWers. I wish I could accomplish them. I try to involve more in helping my sex-workers colleagues, whether they are Pro-Dommes, escort, cam girls/boys, strippers. I’m working on a workshop “how to prevent from cyber harassment” with a lawyer and a policeman. I also have another marketing / sociological study about the situation of the SWers in France, supported by the SWers union. Also, I’d like to invest more time in charity to help the most vulnerable of us. When my slave lost his dad, I raised some funds to support his family in this terrible experience.
What else would you like to say to the readers of your interview?
If you’re really into BDSM, you should not give up your passion. Like I said, BDSM is like dancing: when you have to learn new moves, you can fall down, you might get hurt at times. But if you’re passionate, you’ll find someone on Earth able to dance with you.
If there was a movie made about you what would it be called?
Eat, pray and peg
What do you think about all the chargebacks, banning of SWer accounts and payment sites closing SWer accounts and clipsites cracking down on certain types of content?
I think we should spank all the bankers to make them understand the release of a good session.
Are you a gentle, rough, sensual, emotional, vicious, or brutal mistress?
A sub told me once I’m a sensual Sadist: I kinda like this definition to be honest, but I confess, I love my Domme Mommy role to protect my subs. If I need to be rough and brutal, I would go into it for their happiness.
Are there any fetishes you won’t do?
Hard medical and blood play aren’t not my thing at all, I’m just scared of that.
If you could change anything about you, what would it be?
I would quit smoking!!!
Finally last question, what would your ultimate dream session be like?
I have this dacryphilia fetish: I wish someday, I could kidnap a sub for a weekend and torture him in a dark cave and make him cry so bad that even his mom won’t recognize him.
I would like to Thank Mrs Sasha Tengu for taking the time out of Her busy life to let me interview Her. I hope you check this lovely lady out and show Her some love…