Be a good boy for this Madam

Madam Jess

@MyMadamJess

madamjess.com

How did you get into this lifestyle and what do you enjoy about the lifestyle and being a Domme?

I had to take a moment to organize this thought without rambling. I think my story is similar to many others. Even as a child, I was hyper-sexual with many curiosities and fantasies. I began experimenting with kinky sex and poly relationships in my teens. For my 18th birthday, I attended my first fetish party at a long gone Atlanta club called the Chamber and that was it! I was hooked. Imagine me walking into the highschool the next day with stars in my eyes. It’s scandalous, really.

As to what I enjoy about it… well. Everything! I am a Taurus and a terrible glutton for all things pleasurable. I enjoy radiating the energy that comes from exerting power over another, knowing they are helpless to resist. It is intoxicating.

In Lifestyle terms, I value what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown as a person as well as the relationships that have formed over the years. My “family” exists in the Lifestyle with a deeper understanding (and a lot more sexy fun!) than in vanilla life. I have the opportunity to really show ME as I am in all my glory in the Lifestyle and develop intimacy that doesn’t exist elsewhere.

How did you like the fetish party you first attended? What were you thinking the whole. time? How did it change you and how you think? How does the power you get over your subs make you feel?

That first party was spectacular. I was absolutely dazzled by everything I saw and experienced. My eyes were truly opened and there was a sort of clarity or even heightened consciousness. I was instantly hooked and wanted to go back to experience it all over again. I was just amazed to find that yes this was real and yes other people really did and yes I could do it too. I will admit to being a little timid and overwhelmed at first- it was a lot to take in. I saw flogging and bondage and spanking and girls in cages… I didn’t play or participate that first time. I watched in awe. You asked how it changed me- it sort of gave me permission to delve into these taboo activities that had always lurked inside. And not just the fantasy role play kind of stuff but the real BDSM scene.

The power over subs question is complicated lol. When given out of deference and respect, I cherish and prize it. When taken, it loses its charm. It can be a heavy responsibility at times. Ha! With great power comes great responsibility you know.

After the party how were you in high school? Did you see all the boys as meat so to speak to be your slaves?

No. But I was still high as a kite with stars in my eyes. And I knew I had leveled up in a big way that none of them could understand. I think most still can’t lol

How long after the party till you started doing stuff in this lifestyle or that you had seen to experiment?

I’d already been doing it, just not well. I think it just became more often.

Where did you find slaves to serve you and where did you do sessions at?

I only played privately until about 2012 or so. So boyfriends/girlfriends. Yes I had both even in high school lol When I started playing publicly I attended Lifestyle events like munches and public dungeon gathers, conventions, etc. sessions were personal playtime mostly. I liked to show off.

Professional sessions have only been going on about six months. Almost all of them have been held at Atlanta Dungeon. I don’t find slaves and subs. Lol. They come to me!

Do you like having the power and control over your slaves? Do you get sexual pleasure from it?

Fuck yes I do. Lol. It’s in the eyes, the muscle tension, the energy of the room. Makes me wet just thinking about it. Lol

What are your favorite fetishes and why? Also, what are your hard limits?

My personal favorite fetishes are edging and denial- keeping someone on edge and all worked up is simply delightful. A person in that space is so malleable and submissive. They’ll do anything I want at that point. It’s a real power trip I also genuinely enjoy tears and crying, usually from pain. Sadly I don’t find very many pain sluts who enjoy this with me. But looking into tear filled eyes and seeing pure adoration and torment mixed together is intoxicating.

Hard limits- I think the one I get the most has to do with scat. It’s a hygiene hang up for me more than anything else. Roman showers would be another. I also tend to reserve things like permanent marks for personal partners and slaves. It is too intimate to share with general clients

What are your thoughts on chastity, pegging and sissification ?

Chastity is fucking hot. Plays right into my denial Fetish. Pegging is a power move. Lol. I love using my strap on for any gender person. I actually orgasm from it even without any penetration on my part. The grunts and groans turn me on. Sissification depends on the person. For some people it’s humiliating. For others it is liberating. I enjoy both

Do you believe all men should be locked in chastity and with that do you believe women should and will rule the world?

Women absolutely rule the world. We always have. Read Lysistrata lol. Men cannot function without us, they are too consumed with primal urges. Women are the voice of reason. We wield our power quietly by stroking egos and playing on mankind’s basest urges.

Should all men be in chastity? I am merciful. Those who can prove themselves could be left free perhaps. But most men would be Much better off locked up.

What do you think about homewrecking, dommewrecking and financial ruination?

Call me old school, but I actually have a sense of morality. Lol. I don’t do jealous spouses (love cuckolding but that’s not the same as homewrecking). One of my rules for my submissives is that they must maintain their personal lives. How can they possibly serve me if they can’t manage themselves and their relationships? As to financial ruin- why would I want to ruin someone? They can keep paying me more and for a longer period of time if I don’t “ruin” them.

What do you think about the whole Mastercard and government laws affecting SWers? What’s your opinions on clip sites cracking down on what type of content and the words that can be spoken in clips? Do you think it’s wrong for paysites to close SWer accounts?

I have a hard time justifying how any government or banking entity can dictate how a person spends their own money. It is not a credit card company’s place to determine individual morality. SW is not new- it’s called the oldest profession for a reason. I often joke that marriage is just a form of sex work- I fuck my husband for health insurance. Personal choice and freedom are things we supposedly value so yes I do think it’s wrong for SWers to be shut down on these platforms

What should be done about all of it if anything?

What can be done? I mean, we could all start by minding our own business and not pushing our personal beliefs on one another. I’ll hold my breath

Would type of domme would you say you are? Tough, strict, gentle, caring or a mixture and which type do you find slaves enjoy the most?

I am what I need to be to get the reaction I want from the person I’m with. Lol. Some require a firmer hand than others, but generally speaking they are always more than willing to try to please Me. Real punishment is never enjoyable and positive reinforcement goes a long way. What kind of Domme am I? Sadist but nurturing perhaps. Every slave is different. Each a unique individual. The type slaves enjoy the most are the ones who best match their needs

What advice would you give someone just starting out in this lifestyle?

Re: starting out… It’s cliche and overstated but still true- slow down. People get excited and do too much too fast. That’s when they get hurt. Listen to all the information about types of play. Learn to make informed choices. Vet your partners and keep yourself safe.

What about your body makes men weak and what part do you flaunt the most to ensure that happens?

My ass. All day. That’s an easy one. It flirts with people behind My back lol. Men melt for Me in tight leggings/latex/leather and crave to have their faces buried in it. Short shorts. Skirts. It really doesn’t matter. My ass is definitely My greatest asset.

What are your thoughts about me interviewing Dommes to help promote them?

I appreciate the work you’re doing for the community. As Dommes we can only do so much to promote ourselves and our passion. So often it only goes as far as the pics which are superficial at best. Because of you, maybe someone will find a connection or recognize that there is a great deal of depth in this Lifestyle. So I thank you for your service to the greater good of Kink and BDSM.

What keeps you going day by day in this lifestyle? What motivates you? And with that how do you balance your domme and vanilla life or do they commingle?

What keeps Me going? The connections I’ve made, knowing I’ve made a difference in people’s lives. I have a personal mission to spread beauty and love in this world and I am fortunate to do that daily. Sometimes the beauty is pain and tears and sometimes it is service and delicacies… but it is always fulfilling and gratifying. I believe you get out of life what you put into it. I’m a high energy person and it comes back to re-energize Me to share yet more with others.

Balance Vanilla and Lifestyle is hard. I am always Me, but there are certainly times that Madam takes a secondary priority to My real world life. There’s a great deal of compartmentalizing that has to happen. It’s the epitome of a work/life balance because they do commingle. I have a few rules I set for Myself that help keep those boundaries in place. And I have some wonderful personal relationships-people who know all the parts of Me- who help keep Me humble. And I’m a better Domme for it I believe.

What would you like to say to subs wanting to serve or message you? What should they learn, do and or know beforehand?

I would say the most important thing to remember is to use your manners. They matter. Being polite and courteous is the number one! I don’t mind answering questions or going slow with those who are polite and genuine. Beyond that, educate yourself! Read. Learn. Follow directions. You get what you put into it like all things in life. And like all things, it is worth more when you work for it.

Do you have a fond memory that sticks out in your head from a session?

I have to pick only one?? Lol I have so many! But My favorite is probably the first time I played with My pet. We had a pick up scene at a Lifestyle event. I knew she could play hard like Me and we connected right away. Then there was this moment… I wish I could describe it. I pulled her head back by the hair and looked at her glazed over big brown eyes… It was like realization physically hit Me. “You’re a pet!” I said. And she looked at Me like… “um. Yeah. I said that.” Lol. It was like I could suddenly see her, all of her, in all her kinky glory. And that moment I knew she was going to be Mine.

Do you do irl sessions or online and which do you like more and why?

I do both but IRL are by far My favorite. The physical connection and energy just can’t happen over a computer or phone screen. As amazing as the internet is for connecting and educating us, we cannot and should not replace person to person interactions. There is no substitute for it

What are your thoughts and what should happen to these new tiktok Dommes, fake Dommes, and catfish Dommes?

Mmm. What should happen? Nothing. Wise up and ignore them. Lol. If they aren’t getting the attention, they will go away. That’s the simplest answer.

Would you consider yourself a femdom, findom, lifestyle domme, or prodomme? And why?

Lifestyle. All day. I’ve been doing this all of my life before I even knew what it was. I only recently became a “pro” after 20 years of practicing BDSM with friends and partners in the Lifestyle. I do it for real, everyday. It is part of who I am not just something I do for Tribute. The Tributes I receive are well earned by years of learning and growth of how to do it “right”.

What is your take on the whole tribute me before speaking or DMing issue going around lately? i.e., “initial tribute”.

I will say, unfortunately, that I receive a ton of disingenuous messages and garbage DMs that are an absolute waste of My time. So I understand where the sentiment comes from and don’t begrudge the Domme if it works for Her. That said, I think it probably turns a lot of people off who could be willing to offer more if the Domme’s were a little more approachable. It’s sort of like demanding respect. You can’t. It has to be earned in some way. Tribute to Me because of My skill, character, etc. not just because I demand it. You may CashApp Me anytime

If there was a movie made about you what would it be called?

“I can’t make this up” lol. That’s how my life feels most of the time. “The Kink Queen” is a title I held once a lot time ago. That’s probably better for a movie.

What makes a great D/s relationship work?

I can give you a laundry list of good qualities needed…. Communication. Trust. Respect. Etc. but I think it really boils down to compatibility. Your kinks, interests, and so forth have to line up and no amount of honest communication can force that.

What is your favorite toy or tool to use during a session that you find you use the most?

My hands. Hands are the best toys there are. I always have them with Me. I can touch gently or roughly. I can scratch, slap, punch, pull, twist, spank, grip, caress…. Hands are the most versatile tools we have. And skin to skin touch, the exchange of energy, is the most primal and basic method of connection we as humans have. If I have to pick an actual toy, I’ll say canes. Lol. But my hands are my favorite and most useful.

How many slaves do you want to own eventually and if you had an endless amount of money what would you buy or do with it (pertaining to this lifestyle)?

I’m a greedy Taurus. I want them all. Lol. Emm. Really own? I think not more than two. It’s giant responsibility and one I take seriously.

What lifestyle thing would I do with an endless amount of money? Create My kingdom of course. Where women are empowered and Men know their place. Sappho’s paradise. My own Eden. And they would flock to Me and worship Me and the world would a better place for it

Do you find you enjoy female subs or male subs more? Which obeys better would you say? Or is more fun…

I really don’t have a preference between the two. It depends more on the person and their sincerity than the gender. I will say that women are more likely to offer service out of a sense of emotion. Men are more likely to submissive while they’re horny and forget their place once they get theirs … but it’s never all one or the other.

What makes a great Domme?

A great Domme makes Herself. She does that through wisdom, experience, intuition, and empathy. And a great sense of humor. If you can’t laugh/enjoy yourself, what’s the point?

What are 3 red flags you look for when talking to a new slave that makes you turn them down. Or that every domme should look for?

Subs who are pushy or demanding, coercive. The ones who think they can do whatever they want. Subs who refuse to read/listen and follow directions- they won’t give a deposit or vetting information for example. Inquiries about really bizarre or taboo fantasies that are completely unrealistic or immoral

What would be your ideal dungeon or play room?

Ideal play room? I partially didn’t answer because I don’t have one. I enjoy the creativity and the energy of the space I am in. I don’t need a special dungeon to play. I can play anywhere. And sometimes that leads to some really great inspiration.

What would you like to say to the readers of your interview?

Readers- you are not broken. You do not have to be ashamed. Those thoughts and desires are normal and you are worthy of love. I wish you the ability to express yourself and feel fulfilled. You are beautiful.

I would like to Thank Madam Jess for taking the time out of Her busy life to let me interview Her. I hope you check this lovely lady out and show Her some love…

Published by Dommeviews4u

Collared slave who interviews Dommes from around the globe

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